bazilah abu hassan bazilah abu hassan: Things I Have Learnt

Monday, 1 April 2019

Things I Have Learnt

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ
Ayyyy, it's been so long since I last wrote and vented my feelings out. My blog is super dusty, similar to that articles I have printed for reading. Anyway, I turned 24 this year! Yeayyyyy! 24 and roaring. I've been 24 for less than a month but God knows how this year has taught me so many new things! It's April and I don't think that it would be too far-fetched for me to say that 2019 will be one of the most memorable and strange year I ever had. Anyway, I'll list down things that I have learnt when I turned 24. I hope when I reached 25 (if I ever will) I will look back to this list and feel like, ahhh my 24 year old wasn't all dumb and silly.

1.  Manage your time and your life will be sorted out.
This is something that we all have been told since we were in primary school. I am not good with time management. I remember when I was in primary school, I always got scolded by my sister and received stern looks from my parents. I was so slow and I loooooove daydreaming. Hence, my sister called me 'SIPUT' for I moved too slow. I daydream everywhere. In the bathroom, on the bed after showering, during breakfast, while putting on shoes -- all of these resulted in my sister and I being late for school. She was a prefect, so she had to arrive early. She would walk so fast, leaving me behind because she was angry at me and my daydreams for making her late! hahaha

Now that I am older, I realised that time management is important and I only daydream while I'm showering or about to sleep haha. Daydream is good, can't afford to lose it. But yeah, I have managed my time better. I know that I have to do what at what time, when to stop and when to start. Of course, there are days when I just waste my time by rolling in the bed, immersed with novels and 9GAG. But, I tried my best to get back on the track for the next day. I have to juggle between job and writing thesis so I remind myself to always manage my time or I might lose either one, or worse, BOTH. Please Allah, no.

2.  Spending money you earned is a love-hate relationship
This is so true. I know that we earn money to be spent but heyyy, I work my ass off everyday, translating stuff, editing it and updating the drive, so of course I have some kind of relationship with the money born through this hard work. Back in my degree years, I received RM550 for myself every month from my sponsor (Thank you Yayasan Peneraju I LOVE YOU!). I spent them with no guilt in my heart and very little conscience in my head. Like..
Ohhh that shoes look nice -- BOUGHT IT! 
Ohhh new Ahern's novel -- TAKE IT! 
Yummehh Sushi King nyum nyum -- WALKING OUT FROM SUSHI KING WITH FULL STOMACH AND EMPTY PURSE.
Now that I earn that money from my hard work, I somehow think more sensibly. Like I asked myself, is this a need or is this just my silly desire smooth talking me that striking yellow ass jumper will look good on me without making me look like a giant grilled corn? I am still very much struggling to control my silly unnecessary desire, but I think I am getting a tad better at that. At least now I'm checking it with my brain first before spending on things. I love the fact that I now have money to spend but this may sound stupid but, I hate it when I spend it. Women are complicated, I guess?

3.  IT IS CRUCIAL TO SAVE.
4 years of undergraduate study programme with a full-ride scholarship and not a penny saved. Yup. That's me. I was a bit down when I know people who are the same age as me already owned thousands of saving and me ermmm like RM2 in that dusty Tabung Haji account my primary school registered on behalf of me?! Can't even shop a thing at Eco Shop for everything is RM2.10! It was hard to start saving at first. I used to spend all my money and suffer at every end of month. Then I found this one gem -- Don't save what is left after spending, spend what is left after saving. It helps making the saving-thingy a bit easier. Also, I stumbled upon many tweets or articles telling how important it is to save for the future, emergencies and so what not. I kind of realised that these things are true and misfortune never knocks on the door. They just punched your face. Misfortune is a bitch. So peeps, save first before that bitch came and ran with all the money you have in your hand and left you miserable by the street.

4.  Walk you own pace, your own path and look forward.
This lesson taught me to be relax and calm when I feel like I am left behind. I started my Master's Degree in 2017 and still struggling to complete it. I have friend who started later than me but has completed hers. I was sad and feel a bit like a loser but I remember that we all have our own timeline. We have our own path. If you are not satisfied, you work for the things you want. But never feel less because someone is ahead of you. Life is not a race, it's a journey. It's not about who arrive first or last, it's all about arriving at the destination and enjoying things around you. You gotta look forward and stay focus to arrive at your destination. If people's journey around you made you feel disheartened, stop looking at them. But if they motivated, by all means, continue googling them. Wow, can't believe I remember some kind wisdom shiz from some wise books and old bald men on Google. #positivevibes #inspirational

5.  Losing a best friend is a bigger heart shattering event than losing your boyfriend. 
This one, let's just say that I have learnt it, okay? *continues weeping under blanket*

6.  SELF-HELP BOOKS ARE NOT THAT BAD.
They are quite fun. You can gain new insights on things or issues around you. You might change the way you think. You get useful and effective tips!!! My first self-help book is Quiet Power by Susan Cain. How I stumbled upon this book? Well, I did a personality test and I got INFJ as the result. The I at the front stands for INTROVERT. Me? Introvert? LOL. So I retake the test like 10 times and got the exact same result. Time to accept the reality, I guess? I never considered myself as introvert, more like someone who only talks to people I know and stay quiet with strangers but then, the smart people say that what introvert is. Ye lah tu. But anyhow, I wanted to understand more so I googled books for the thing and decided to buy this Quiet Power. Amazingly, I can relate to almost all the stories and almost half of the tips given are things that I have practising in my life.

I have never liked self-help books but after reading one, I think that it's not so bad to start challenging myself to read new things. They are wonderful and some stories are really funny. Not like Sugar-Sammy-funny, more like sopan-jokes-that-make-you-smile-ears-to-ears-funny. But they are alright, really. Give it a go if you have never tried it.

7.  Open door for new people.
I texted with same people, sometimes met the same people I texted and spent my free time with the same people. I always refuse to go out if my friends brought someone I don't know along with them. That was bad and I shouldn't have done that. When my boss whom I only converse via Whatsapp or email asking me to go eat together, I went numb. I am scared of meeting new people. I don't even really pick up calls, especially not from unknown numbers. Just text me, don't have to call or meet me. I don't know what to do but one of my brain cells was extra courageous that day and I replied, "Sure. Where should we meet?" After meeting my boss, Kak Ummu, I felt like I can conquer the world, guys. I met a totally new person for the sake of eating together, not because we have work stuff to do! Wow, 2019 is my year! I am a new person. LOL.

And after that, I went to a BBQ at my friend's house and God knows how scared am I. There were people I never knew existed and how do you talk or behave in front of them? I was freaked out but hey hey hey new Bazilah won't back down ah gituuu. Luckily, I knew quite a few people there too and although I was super awkward at first, it got easier and more comfortable after some times. I guess, I just have to do the things I have to do. Don't be so scared. If I did something embarrassing, just avoid meeting that person again. Haha!

I guess, that's all I have learnt for now? I really hope that by the time I turned 25, I would be wiser and smarter and prettier and richer and slimmer. Aamiin. I wish everyone to have smooth sailing year this 2019 and may you all be blessed.

Thank you for reading!


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