Day 5: Something I Struggle With

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Heyyyy people!

I skipped the previous topic to write about, 'Five ways to win my heart'. It's a bit hard to write about because I think I need a longer time to think about it. Benda pasal hati ni messy and berat so we need to tunggu ada hati then we can write. Ah gitu. So, I will write about things I struggle with first.

I think most of my friends know I am struggling with driving. I just turned all pale, sweaty and silent when I sit behind the wheels. It is so nerve wrecking and I could not muster enough courage to drive. Hence, I stopped halfway in my driving lesson hahaha. I did try to drive but well, you should ask my friend, Mirah, the look on my face the moment I sit in the driver's seat. Let's just say I look like I saw death in person pffft. But, it kinda difficult to tell people that you are struggling with driving because it appears to be an easy task to many people. Let's pray that I will be able to drive too in the future, ok? Hahah.

Another thing I have been struggling with is talking to strangers. I would say that I am very talkative and chatty but with people who I am not familiar with, I come off as poyo and sombong gitu. I talk very little. I remember my conversation with a fellow bus-rider at TBS few years ago. He was sitting two seats away from me. The conversation went like this;

Him: Nak balik kampung ke?

Me: Ha'ah.

Him: Student ke?

Me: Ha'ah.

Him: Kampung kat mana?

Me: Terengganu.

Him: Ooo bas pukul berapa?

Me: 10.30.

Him:  Oh sama lah.

Me: *senyum and nod*

And after a while, the brother's bus arrived first, he picked up his bag, said bye and I smiled. The reason I remember this conversation is because right after the brother left for his bus, my friend, Kak Yong who was sitting beside me said, "Hang ni Ba, kalau dengan orang hang kenai bukan main riuh. Dengan orang hang tak kenai mulut serupa ada emas. Dia tanya banyak banyak, hang jawab ja. Apa salahnya tanya balik dia asal mana, study mana, bas koi berapa. Berat mulut betoi."

Now, this is my struggle. When strangers make conversation by asking me questions, I automatically masuk gear menjawab soalan semata-mata and never ask them anything. I think the reason I acted like that with strangers is because I often feel like I only need to ask questions to people who matter to me, whose life I am interested to know about. Hence, I don't ask questions to strangers. Wah begitu angkuh pemikiran seorang Bazilah ya. No wonder I received lot of remarks telling me that I look sombong. I guess I do appear like an indifferent asshole to strangers. As Mark Manson said, indifferent is bad. And I don't want to be seemed as bad.

So, one of my 2020 resolutions is to talk to strangers. If they ask me questions, I will answer and ask same or similar question to them. I will learn to control my level of indifference so that I don't appear as bad. Maybe I should take a lesson with my partner in crime, Bibso. That woman, she can make friends with people who sit beside her in the bus. An amaze-ball she is! Me on the other hand, would always take the single seat, buried my head in a book and avoid making eye-contact with anyone. Bibso is so amazing she can make friends with almost anyone. She asks the right questions, shows the right amount of interest and knows where to stop the conversation. In short, she's not awkward at all and she's friendly with everyone. That's it, the first thing I will do tomorrow is send my application to be her disciple.

I guess these two are among things I am struggling with and trying hard to overcome. Y'all wait, in 2021, I would be driving on the road and while driving, I would be so friendly I roll down all four windows and say 'Hi!' to every car that passes by. You just wait ok.

Till then, thanks for reading!

Day 4: Places I Want To Visit

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Heheh I skipped a day because well you know, issues. By issues, I mean my laziness. But now, I've kept Miss Lazy in her room and I will continue the writing challenge. It's about the places I want to visit. Speaking of which, this Covid-19 is really a bitch. I planned to visit Singapore with my friends at the end of February. And around that time, there was several confirmed cases in the nation. So, we canceled the plan. Then, I plan to go to Genting Highland with my other friends at the end of March. But well well well, RMO happened. But there must be reasons and hikmah why Allah allow this to happen, right? So, marilah kita berlapang dada.

Anyway, about the places I want to visit. I am not big on travelling, idk. Maybe because I don't have enough money to go travelling? HAHAHA. Ok seriously, idk. Usually, I only go to new places because I want to see my friends who live there and most of the time, I will stay at their house, cook for them and that's about it. Bhahaha I am so boring. But, if I were asked about the places I want to visit, I think I have quite a few places. 

1. Japan

As a kid, I used to watch a lot of anime and J-drama. I used to favour J-drama over K-drama and I always feel like Japan is a very beautiful country. The food, the culture, the scenery, the mind-blowing technologies they have, I want to see them in person. Not through screen or pictures. Well, some day when I have the chance, Japan would be the first place I want to visit.

2. Iceland Northern Light

I love sky. Like very very much. What's better than sky with mesmerising light during night? Practically nothing. Except my mom's cooking. That maybe better. But that's totally different so yeah, northern light is the best. I remember back during my degree years, I took this one subject -- Creative Writing. One of the assignments was to prepare ABC book where you have to describe each letter with the things related to yourself. The alphabet A for my ABC book stands for Aurora and I pasted a whole lot pictures of northern light. It amazes me so much and I always marvel at the thought of how amazing Allah is, being able to create such beautiful things, far in the sky, untouched by the hands of the human. So amazing *insert emoji teary eyes*

3. Switzerland

I used to keep quite a number of scenery pictures in Switzerland. Everything looks so serene. And I kind of realise that I make a boring travel partner HAHAHAHAH. I love places like this where people can sit down, drink coffee and stare at the beautiful scenery for hours. It looks so nice to just breathe in the fresh air, appreciating God's creation and do nothing. Hahahah Goddd I am so very boring but yeah I think I would do exactly that if I visited places like the one in the picture.

I think that's it. Apart from these three, I think any beaches or places with nice sky would be enough to make me smile from ear to ear. Haha. The challenge is to list 5 places I want to visit, but I only have three in my mind. Okay maybe when I grow a bit older, I would have more places I want to visit. I will check in the next few years ok? Or maybe, I will stay as the boring person I am, still have only these three places in my mind. Miahahah.

Ugh I myself feel like puking reading this entry of mine. Maybe I should look up for places I should visit so I would have more in my list. Hahaha whatever it is, thank you for reading! May I still have the spirit to keep the challenge going. 

Till then, take care and stay safe!

Resepi Kek Butter Simple

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Heyya people. 

I'm taking a break from the writing challenge because I want to share this simple recipe of butter cake with you people. First off, I would like to tell you people that I loooooove baking but sadly, I am not always lucky with the things I bake. But! This recipe is really simple and if a failure like me can ace it, so can you.

So, you will be needing:

1. 250 gram butter

2. 200 gram castor sugar

3. 250 gram flour

4. 1/2 tablespoon of baking powder

5. 4 eggs

6. 1/2 cup of fresh milk

*additional: three tablespoons of cocoa powder and one teaspoon of vanilla essence.

So, now the steps.

In the bowl, combine 250 gram butter with 200 gram sugar.

Beat them. I actually ran out of castor sugar and I used the normal sugar. So, the texture was not really pretty. After the sugar and butter dah turn fluffy or kembang, add the vanilla essence. Cemana nak tahu the sugar and butter dan kembang? When they turned pale yellow gitu or white gitu.

Then, remember that 4 eggs? Add one by one.

Alternately, after each egg, add the tepung. Remember to ayak the tepung with baking powder first. Masuk sebiji telur, masuk tepung. Pastu, pukul. Pastu gilir gilir sampai habis telur and tepung. And then, add the half cup of milk. Pukul lagi sampai rata.

Pastu, divide the mixture into two. Satu tu, you add the three tablespoons of cocoa powder. Kacau rata. Kalau nak buat colour colour also can. Kalau ada empat colour, bahagikan adunan kepada empat. Kalau nak buat 24 colour macam pensel colour luna, yaaaa terserah deh!

Letakkan adunan tu selang seli dalam loyang yang dah disapu minyak or di-layerkan dengan baking paper. Putih dulu, pastu coklat, pastu putih, pastu coklat. Buat sampai adunan habis. Lepas letak setiap adunan tu, disarankan menghentak loyang ye. I found the action of menghentak loyang helped the layer to be prettier hahah tapi heyy, mungkin saya hanya berkhayal.

Masukkan dalam oven yang dah dipanaskan for 10-15 minutes, at 170 degree celcius for around 50 minutes. Tapi kan, my oven kat rumah ni very the stupido. I actually put it on 190 for 50 minutes. Tapi kek tu alhamdulillah tak rentung. See, stupid oven? But really, it depends on your oven. So, kenali oven anda. Bukan boyfriend sahaja. Eh tiba.

So this is after terbakor dalam oven for 50 minutes. 

Keratan rentas. Daymmmmm they look so good. And oh, the recipe produced a very moist butter cake. And it smelled super nice wuwuwuw. Ya Allah dapnya makan panas panas!

I am not a fan of butter cake but my mom is. So, she loves this cake! I did try several times before this but eheheh my previous butter cakes need to be eaten with a sip of water after every slice untuk membantu penghadaman kerana begitulah kering, sekering hatiku. Gittew. But this one, is so gewd. I think I will be making this as my favourite recipe for butter cake.

Do try it and lemme know if you enjoy it as much as my family does.

Thank you for reading!

Day 3: Top Three Pet Peeves

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Day 3 and still got the spirit. Wow, 2020 does change me! Bhahaha. Today's challenge is to share about my top three pet peeves. Pet peeve is something that you find irritating and annoying. You know, when you see something done by other people or literally anything that made you all annoyed, that is pet peeve for you. What a fancy name to describe things you hate eh? So, my top three pet peeves are...

1. Chewing with mouth opens

This practically drove me crazy. Come on, the sound we made when we chew food with our mouth opens is not really nice, right? The 'cak cak cak' drove me up the wall. It is very distracting, especially when you are trying to focus on eating hahah. It's much better if you close your mouth, chew your food in silence and when you finish chewing, you can open your mouth again. I think we all have the tendency to chew with our mouth opens masa zaman budak budak but you know, we can always improve and change whatever habit we have.

2. Spamming my Whatsapp but does not get straight to the point

I really can't. Have you ever received text from people, spamming you with your name like 'Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba'? I rushed to my phone, saw the tiny red bubble on Whatsapp icon with the number 23. Oh, must be important I thought. So I opened the messages, and the sender just called my name from message #1 to #23. I replied, yes? And then, guess what was the reply? The sender said, busy ke? And when I replied, no, the sender proceeded with 'oh ada benda nak tanya ni' and then the sender waited for me to say 'tanyalah'. 

See how many minutes already wasted because you asked unnecessary questions? I could have answered your questions if you texted me 'Ba, *insert the question*'. But noooo, some people just had to spam some tens messages before getting to the point 15-20 minutes later. But then I learnt, if the sender could take their time to get to the point, they could endure some extra minutes waiting for my reply to muahahaha. So yeah, I no longer reply as fast as I can to such messages started with some tens of 'Ba'.

3. Dog eared my books

Why you do this? Whyyyyy? I really care for my books. So, I never read them without wrapping them with the plastic wrapper first and I will use whatever I have in my hands to mark the pages, as long as I don't have to dog ear my books. I have used all sort of items to mark the pages - cable tie, candy wrapper, dry leaf, tissue, pen, business card, cotton bud, used envelopes, name it. As long as I don;t have to dog ear my books, I don't mind. Worse come to worst, I will just memorise the page number. Never dog ear my book. If you do it to your books, go ahead. But, please, don't do that to my books. I hate seeing the folded marks on the pages. It's like killing my books slowly. Gitu ye over.

I guess these are my top three pet peeves. I believe everyone has their own pet peeves. Like one of my friends, she cannot stand people who ask question merely to ask, not to seek for answers. She got so annoyed at such action and you can see it clearly on her face. HAHAHAHA but I think we all hate being asked by someone, only for the answers to be ignored, right? Anyway, what's your pet peeve?

Day 2: You're Lucky

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Heyyyy, I come back on the second day of the writing challenge! *proud face*. Today is the 17th day of RMO. For now, I haven't feel bored yet. So many things to be done. I have tried making dalgona coffee, kuih bakar, kuih lapis, butter cake and my stupid sis, she made maggi tomyam kicap. I'm thinking of calling police on her but she's not really a normal human, so I don't want to harm the police. Anyway, there are lot of things to be done during RMO and aside from my translation job, I'm taking this writing challenge. So, here goes Day 2 - write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forget.

Well, I've been told a lot of things about myself by many people, but I will always remember what my close friend, Anum said to me. We were in The Grand Sofo at that time, talking with the rest of the housemates about life challenges and Anum told me "Kak Ba, Kak Ba ni bertuoh kang. Dok rajin ada masalah. Happy je sokmo." I think I just smiled at the comment but deep down, I reflected myself and I found my Anum was indeed right. I am lucky, I have very little problems and I am usually happy.

Her remark was short but thanks to her, I become more grateful, appreciative and I face challenges better. The comment also made me realise, that while I'm complaining about my life and hardships, other people see my life as smooth and easy. And it got me thinking, 'maybe it's just me whining. Maybe life is not as hard as I thought it was. Other people have it harsher.' And that really slap me in the face, making me more grateful than ever. After all, have you ever heard of the saying, 'what you take for granted, someone else is praying for'?

Anum's remark about me stuck with me until this very day and as I got older and less stupid, I now know that what I used to call luck are all blessings and rezeki and for that, I can only thank The Almighty. So, take a step back, look at your life and count the blessings. I actually looked back at my life and analysed every thing that happened, trying to understand how people could see me as lucky and eventually, I found the answers. My life and every thing that came into it, every thing I achieved, every thing I owned, they are all Allah's blessings and I am really lucky, or maybe, I should say I am blessed, truly. And so are you.

You too are blessed with endless rezeki. You just haven't realised it, yet.

Thanks for reading!

Day 1: 10 Things That Make Me Happy

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Happy Thursday, people!

First day for the writing challenge and I woke up feeling eager to switch on my laptop and start rambling. Halah first day boleh ah. We'll see if I will wake up with the same gusto on Day 5 hahah. So, as per the list I shared with you people yesterday, the first idea is to write about 10 things that make me happy. Easy people, easy. 'Sko. 

1. Family

Several months old me, with the fans.

Typical answer. But, really. I am at my happiest when I'm with my family. And some people, they just bonded so well with me that I upgraded them as my family hahaha. When I was younger, I had always dreamt of living independently. Now that I am older, I realised that in whatever situations, family is the only thing that I can rely on and can go back to, anytime I want. Although my younger siblings are annoying as hell and my older sisters are irritating, I would still donate my organs if they need one. But no, I won't allow them to touch my books or borrow my stuff (though I know my sisters will just take it anyway. taik.)

2. Books

The heaviest box when I moved out from Cheras

I love books, I love reading. My mother is the biggest influence on me in reading. She reads while waiting her sambal to be done, before sleeping, after cooking and whenever she feels like reading. I slowly pick up the books she reads and as years passed, books naturally become my best companion. I usually have one with me wherever I go, especially when I'm riding trains or bus or car. Books are just perfect in every single way ah gittew.

3. Baju Kurung

Especially cotton one. I don't know why, but baju kurung makes me happy. Some of my friends call me crazy when they know I wear baju kurung, even when I'm home doing nothing. I guess it's because baju kurung is so comfortable so I end up making it my everyday wear. 

4. Spicy food

Ayam penyet, masak lemak cili api, ayam gepuk pak gembus - AHHHHH heaven! There's nothing better than nasi plus sambal pedas or kuah pedas pedas paired with soft crispy chicken. Dapnyehhhh! I can eat nasi ayam penyet for two weeks straight and I can say the only reason I will stop eating after 14 days is because duit habis gais. Otherwise, can eat until Izrail comes take me away.

5. The sky

Have you ever looked up at the sky and you go "ya Allahhhhh cantiknya langit!". That's me in the morning, afternoon and evening. My phone gallery is filled up with pictures of the sky. Lemme share some with you so you will be happy too. 

 

6. Cooking for other people

I am not a good cook tapi saja lah I want to acah acah good cook. Hahah. My friend Miyah who was also my housemate had to eat whatever I cook. Poor girl. She's basically tikus makmal to my cooking. Another tikus makmal I have are Ain and Bibi hahaha. It makes me happy when I know people I care about will not go hungry and had something to eat, even if my cooking is not that great. :P

Puding roti to welcome Yana and Ira coming to my house.

Budu bash to celebrate New Year with Syah and Miyah

Udang masak lemak cili api, pajeri nenas and ikan kering. I tried making pajeri nenas for the first time and it tasted nice that Miyah and I ended up cooking pajeri nenas for three days straight haha!

Learnt to cook laksa sarawak from Loles and I always serve this to people haha

7. Chocolate

 

I bet chocolate makes everyone happy. For me, chocolate is a must-have item in my grocery list. Apalah maknanya peti ais tanpa coklat. I would at least buy a Cadbury if there is no good dark chocolate around, or when I need something crispier but still chocolatey, I would go for Kinder Bueno or Kit Kat. Scientifically, chocolate triggers your brain to release the same hormone like you are in love. Why find a boyfriend when you can eat chocolate? *cry in diabetes*

8. Handwritten cards

I am a sucker for handwritten cards or notes. Even if you gave me a simple good morning note on a tissue, I will keep it. HAHAHAAH. I always feel like people who put effort to write you something are really lovely. I'll share with you people, cards from my sekolah rendah and notes on tissues I kept because they all made me happy haha

Birthday cards and postcards. Some from 2003.

Kad raya from my primary school years.

Random notes and letters, some on tissue paper. Hahah

9. Listening to songs on the train or bus

Time time gini I can fefeeling like I'm in a music video puihhh tipu je. But it does put a smile on my face. It's therapeutic for me and I feel like I think better this way. The longer the trip, the better. Tapi kalau trip yang sepatutnya sekejap and become long sebab traffic jammed, itu bala, bukan better ye gais. I always had my mp3 with me. Been using the same mp3 dari tahun 2015 kot. Hahah. mp3 is nice sebab it's small and the battery last long. No hassle.

10. Watching good movies or TV series

You all would be happy too if the movies you watch are all good and nice kan kan kan? My favourite movie is The Shawshank Redemption. Anyway, have you ever watched movie that really sucks? I remember watching The Mist with Bibso and Tiq. The ending made us so frustrated that we all went to bed not talking and woke up the next morning feeling all bitter! Hahaha I hate it sepenuh hati jiwa raga. So if you don't want to sleep feeling frustrated, watch good ones!

I guess these are the 10 things that make me happy. While making this list, I sort of realised that what truly makes me happy are usually the small mundane things in life. I guess that's how it is. It's always the little things that made up one's happiness. What are your 10 things that make you happy?

Thanks for reading!

Let's pray that I can keep writing hahaha.

 

April, Finally

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Ayyyy people!

It's finally April! God knows how long March was for me, well for everyone I guess with the Covid-19 around. I hope everyone is in good health and as sane as ever. How's RMO or PKP treating you guys? My Ayoh is now all restless. I know he wants to go outside, lepak with his friends or at least, swim in the river. But Ayoh, we cannot do that now or else, that might be the last time you can do it before Covid-19 come and take you straight to Allah. We don't want that, kang? Luckily, he gave good cooperation and spent his days watching television, working out lightly, quarrelling with Eil and latest, they play jenga together. 

Anyway, I am free at last! I have completed my thesis, set up my new room in Gombak (halfway), performed my duty as bridesmaid for my two beloved persons, Fatin and Ain, submitted my infographic poster and video for e-conference and updated all the database for my translation job. All these in March. Pheww! March was very hectic but I don't really mind because I love being busy. If I am not busy, I will acah acah busy. I am an acah acah person.

Now, I want to get ready for a new job and most of the job I applied are all related to writing. I am a bit worried because I feel like my writing is all rusty now. So, I plan to start writing again here. Just to familiarise myself with my writing style, what I can write about and of course, the grammar and the SEO stuff that might come in handy if I got into digital writing industry. While I was excited to start writing again, I stumbled upon one list of writing challenge. Lemme share it here.

 

    

So, the list said 30 day writing challenge. I planned to do 10, but we'll see how it goes. I might get demotivated on some days and this blog will turn to its usual berhabuk nature. But I reallyyyyyy want to start writing again. I did have my journal with me but I only jot down important stuff in there, and although this writing project of mine is important enough for me, I don't think long rant would look nice in my journal. Hence, I turn to my lovely lonely blog. Hehe. I really hope that I will be motivated enough to write everyday. 

See you, people! 

May this writing spirit of mine last long.

Stay safe, take care and be good.

Thanks for reading!