Same Old Issue

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Hi people,

I like spending my time on Twitter. I feel like it's the second best application on my phone. First is of course Muslim Pro. Hewhew. Anyway, last night, I stumbled upon this one tweet. Same old classic issue where a woman is comparing another woman's choice from her own perspective.

It was a response to a tweet regarding how a kid was pushed and bullied at a daycare by another kids. I still have a long way to go to become a mother. I need to find a husband first. So, I often refrain myself from speaking about things I am not experienced in. But, I strongly believe that a working mother, not working mother, a mother who adopted another child, ibu susuan are all mothers, in one way or another.

And for me, it is really not fair to label the mother as a 'perempuan yang keluar bekerja mengejar kemewahan dunia melepaskan tanggungjawab membesarkan anak-anak kepada entah sesiapa' just from a single video and a very short one at that. I respect people's opinion of how a mother should be staying home, looking after her children because it's the best for the family. Yes, it is. But from another perspective, if all women are to practise this, will we have any female representative in professional field?

Will we have female specialists in the hospital? What about teachers? The kids will be taught by all male teachers? What about women in politics? We will not have Jacinda Ardern, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Yeo Bee Yin (I like her hahaha). And to imagine I won't have my favourite teachers - Teacher Omai, Teacher Juriffah, Cikgu Suhana, Teacher Sharifah, Cikgu Zaitun... the list goes on. That's horrible. I can't even imagine...

You see. It's not fair for you to label a woman with kids who has a capable husband but still earning her own money as someone who lusts after the worldly wealth. The girl who tweeted the tweet did mention that she understands if a woman needs to work if the husband could not provide enough. However, not everyone are after money. But many are after their dreams. If you dream of being a housewife, that's amazing. If you dream of being a working mother, that's great. But ladies, you are shit if you shit on people's dreams okay? No one's dream is greater than another. It's not fair to simply call working mothers who have capable husband as kejar kemewahan dunia when you don't even know them or their situation.

And honestly, I think we women have enough issues and provocations from the society itself. Why would we trash on one another? Can't we, a woman, a human being who is often associated with kind-hearted nature, be less judgmental on people around us? Why do we women have to keep comparing? I have two older sisters. They are all degree holders, the first one was married when she was 23, the second one 25, they have three kids each and they are housewives. But, not once, they or my mother questioned my choice of being single at the age of 25 when they all married by 25 (kalau I have to keep the standard of getting married by 25, mampos. I only have two months left to find a victim hahah). And I on the other hand, not even once, have I felt like their degrees are wasted. We don't compare our dreams. I see my older sisters are all happy and they see me happy and that's enough for us. 

I once wrote about dreams in this blog. You can read it here. It's really frustrating when you see your own kind, in this case, female, trashed on your dreams, making you feel less of what you supposed to be, in this case, a mother. But you know what, judgment from people who doesn't matter to you, doesn't matter. I just hope that one day, we can stop comparing (it's impossible but whatever just need something to end my post hahaha). I used to judge people's choices too, but now I am older, I try to refrain myself from doing it. Can't be bitter and salty for all my life. :')

Thanks for reading.

Bye.

p/s: Stay safe.